Balance And Self-Improvement

Self-Improvement Is All About Balance

Self-improvement is all about balance. It truly is all about balance. And I cannot emphasize this enough. A lot of young people nowadays are stuck in this "be extreme" kind of mindset where they almost retreat from social events, they eat ultra clean and they have immense "clean dieting" streaks, they go to the gym 7 times per week, etc, and they might be making progress, but less progress than if they truly embraced what self-improvement is.

Let me give you a real-life, unedited example. When I was younger, I was able to go on a vacation in Italy. I never got to Italy before (I'm living in France). And, I hesitated to go on a vacation, and I took the decision to stay at home. I didn't want to get out of my comfort zone, and I instead wanted to be in my comfy routine of gym-self-improvement-eat-sleep-repeat cycle.

Most of us get stuck in our own self-improvement bubbles, and this story highlights this perfectly. The goal of self-improvement for me was to improve and become a better person, but I used this as an excuse to not pursue true self-improvement.

I would've made much more progress, discovered much more about myself, and would've grown much more as a human being if I got to Italy rather than if I stayed at home, thinking I'm disciplined because I'm going to the gym and thinking that this is self-improvement. But, all of this self-improvement routine was bullshit, it was only an illusion for me to stay in my comfort zone.

I was scared to explore the world, to really be living life as a better human, so I decided to get stuck in false self-improvement, and, ultimately, I wasn't doing that good during that time.

But before continuing with that idea, let's define balance. So, what is balance? Balance is, according to the Oxford Languages, "a situation in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions."

In other words, balance is when you don't go extreme on a lot of things, and you try to balance your life or at least some areas of your life so they are the "correct proportions" for physical, mental, and spiritual growth.

Now, it's important to remember that having balance doesn't mean slacking off. This is simply a question of goodwill or bad will. Some people might take this article as a way to increase their procrastination, work less, struggle less, get in their comfort zone, and stop being useful to society, living far from their edge.

Instead, use this article to lead you to the back of your mind and reconsider your daily routines and ways of thinking to discover if you're really heading toward True Self-Improvement (TSI) or simply moving toward an illusion that self-improvement represents, one that sadly many young man and woman around the world have been led to because of the influencer world and their own naiveté of the situation.

It's also important to remember that there will be periods of your life, perhaps of a few months or a year or two, where balance will be non-existent. If you want to make huge progress at something, you'll usually want to stop making progress or reduce the speed of progress of other activities. Let's say for example that you are making progress in exercising, but now you want to focus and prioritize your business above all.

What do you do? You exercise less and spend more time working. This is a little bit more extreme than having "balance", and sometimes "balance" needs to be put to the side in the sake of our goals and our aspirations. You simply need to know how to identify those moments. If someone is offering you a million dollars to help you build your business because he thinks this is worth the investment, this is when you need to be extreme.

But how can you balance your life so you 1) continually make progress in physical, mental, financial, and spiritual growth, and 2) you feel great? Well, it's to be able to find your perfect day on a daily basis and live it.

ACTIONABLE STEP: Go and take a piece of paper or a journal. Write down three to five things that would happen to you in your day that would make it a great day, which would then become a great life. These are the priorities you want to focus on. Then, you can write down as much detail as you want.

To give you an example, for me, I spent a great day if I 1) Spent time with people I love, 2) Exercised, 3) Worked hard on meaningful projects.

This is a sure formula to make a great day. Now sure, if I had some problems, if I had this and that, my day could be a bad day, depending on the different factors of life. But generally, for MOST days, this is what a great day looks like to me. I could be way more specific, such as reading the bible (I'm Christian), taking a walk in nature, meditating, etc, but these are the general rules.

Balance physically

Taking care of yourself is great. Having balance in doing it is better. I'm going to give you an example. A lot of people get onto a very strict diet, and can't sustain it because they don't even enjoy it at first and, generally, it's not sustainable. A lot of people for example try to avoid cheat meals as much as possible and try to stay strict for months, which might work, but you're not actually getting out of your comfort zone, you're only building a new one.

The goal of self-improvement is to become a better human being. If you're not going to social events, tasting new flavors, and learning about new meals and all that stuff, then what are you doing? You're essentially living in your small bubble of dietary confinement. This is one of the reasons I didn't go to Italy too. I was scared of social adventures and getting out of my comfort zone. So, I didn't grow. I would've grown 100000x more if I only got to Italy.

Listen up. I'm not telling you here to have cheat meals all the time and all that bullshit and to have a bad diet. No. I'm telling you to get out of your own, self-protected self-improvement bubble of comfort, and instead go out there in the world and discover life. Live in real life, not in a stupid autistic bubble.

Who is smarter? The one who refuses the social event to make "more progress" because he can eat clean, go to the gym for the 1000th time, and sleep early tonight, or the one who accepts this social event, gets out of his comfort zone, and make actually more progress because he learned in a few hours a ton of things about human nature, social interactions, and the value of balance? Now, this is not an excuse to be a degenerate and go fuck around in some party club with some fucking losers, this is an authorization to really live life and to do it whilst growing as a person.

I created a mindset which is called the Unplanned Cheat Meals (UCM). The Unplanned Cheat Meals are cheat meals that are not planned in time. For example, people might indulge in one weekly cheat meal, and I believe you can do better than that. The best thing in terms of "how to balance cheat meals and dieting", for me, is this Unplanned Cheat Meals technique.

This rule works as follows, and it's one I've been following for some time now and that I'll follow for life: your "daily, day to day" diet is composed of natural foods, and when an event comes in your life, such as an anniversary, a celebration, an invitation, meeting with your partner, going to vacation, etc, you allow yourself to ease into eating food out of your diet.

For example, you might not have planned this, but one day your partner tells you to go and meet with his or her parents to eat a barbecue. Here, you can enjoy your meal. It doesn't mean you have to binge-eat sugar and stuff, it just means you can ease into your cravings reasonably.

For example, if you go on a one-week vacation to Spain for example, you might want to try out new foods and go to restaurants which are great and I recommend you do this, but you can also try to be reasonable by having a salad here and there or a more natural or healthier meal from time to time. It's simply learning balance. It's using balance for growth.

The goal is just to not be autistic. Don't waste too much time asking yourself if taking a cheat meal to go and eat at a nice restaurant next to the beach is bad for you or if bla and bla is bad for you. JUST START LIVING. Enjoy the recreation too.

In terms of training, yes, you can skip the gym for meaningful events. You can even sometimes skip the gym to see your partner if it's been a long time since you've seen your partner as this would forge the relationship, make you grow as a person, and get you out of your comfort zone maybe. But have goodwill. Are you skipping the gym whilst using your partner as an excuse to do so, or are you skipping the gym to spend a meaningful day with your loved one?

Let's say you need to go to the gym and you are invited to a social event tonight, going to the restaurant with like-minded friends. Go to this social event, and learn more about your friends, the world, and you at the same time! It might be one lunch or dinner but you might have interesting insights during it, and you will build stronger relationships anyway.

This is self-improvement. Self-improvement is about becoming a better human, and if you sacrifice social relationships or experiences for the sake of one more gym session or one more clean diet day, you'll probably grow less than if you got to the social relationship or experience in the first place.

Now, especially if you're a man, never de-prioritize your deepest purpose for your woman. But, if your purpose is for example loving the world and doing so through love and knowledge, then your woman is part of your purpose anyway. And generally, you need to have goodwill. If you spend 24/24 with your woman or at social events, you'll not grow as much as if you read, meditated, worked on your deepest purpose, etc. This is ALL a question of balance.

Mentally

Be humble. Especially if you're a man, you might have periods where you want to dominate other people and be better than them, and I still have these periods myself. I have a deep, masculine desire to destroy and dominate my competition. Yet, I still try to stay humble. I might know that I have higher values and that I'm more disciplined and wiser than the majority of people, and I don't hide it, yet I still know my place. I think I'm the shit but I also think I'm not the shit.

Being humble is important. You need to have balance. I think the lesson that stems from being humble is being authentic. You need to be authentic to yourself and admit to yourself your true authentic desires. This doesn't mean becoming a total fucking loser because you have an impulse to go back to your bad habits, of course not, it just means living true to yourself. Do you really want to become an entrepreneur or are you doing this for social status? Do you really believe it will make you happy or isn't working in this particular job make you happier? Do you really want to be a degenerate and live the Dubai influencer lifestyle? Really? Authenthically?

You might have taken the idea from an influencer that being happy = having a big car and big money, but in reality, when you listen to your soul, when you feel where your "aliveness" comes from, and listen to that part of you, you realize that what makes you truly happy might be a family instead of chasing degeneracy and big cars and Dubai fancy hotels and prostitutes.

Also, on top of being humble and living authentically in your masculine or feminine energy, you need to learn that playtime is important too. We all need the recreation that comes from life. Hard work is great, exercising is great, and eating clean is great, but sometimes vacations, a good day with your partner, or a new visit to a beautiful sight is what you need. Even in your day-to-day life, you can incorporate this philosophy, you can work hard on meaningful projects, then relax and go walk in nature or have fun at social events such as at the restaurant with friends, and then exercise. It's all about balance.

The goal, remember, is to identify WHEN to have balance and WHEN to be unbalanced. It's not that hard, it's just logical. If you're a man working on his business and you see the opportunity of starting a relationship with a great woman, do not see this as a distraction but as a blessing that would motivate you to work harder: get into a meaningful relationship!

A lot of young men use the autistic self-improvement mindset. They work on themselves but in the same time isolate themselves from social life without the purpose of re-integrating it. Becoming a self-improvement, autistic, anti-social person, is now associated with "improving yourself" because "Yes King you look great keep going to the gym!". The standard has been reversed. They reversed it so they could live in the comfort of not discovering life and engaging in social relationships.

A lot of young men on self-improvement are actually awkward. They just feel weird, they have weird mannerisms and ways of speaking because they're literally not living in true self-improvement, they're living in their anti-social protected bubble of Huberman routines and max-push-ups challenges. And so, in this autistic self-improvement mindset, they blindly think women = distraction, so not only do they hurt their relationship with women and their view of them, but they also are not living incredible experiences stemming from relationships that will make them grow as a man 10000000x more.

If you're a feminine woman and you're searching for a relationship with a masculine man and you have a career opportunity to follow that will help you grow as a person, then accept it if you think it's the right thing!

Either way, for the man and woman situation, both might be wrong. The man's relationship might turn grey and the woman's career opportunity might reveal itself to be a boring, stressful corporate job that makes her too masculine and sharp. Either way, life, real life (A.K.A true self-development, because to me improving oneself is living in real life and not in a self-protected bubble like most people are), is full of ups and downs, mistakes and successes. Learn through it, build a life you love, and become a better person.

Conclusion

Self-improvement is all about balance. Being balanced will probably help you grow more in most cases than if you were extreme. Learn to identify WHEN you need to be extreme. And, build a day-to-day life that you love by identifying what a "great day" looks like to you. Then, live it fully.

Truly living and not being stuck in your own mind in a self-protected self-improvement bubble is a huge part of living happily. It's living in real life, not in a childish mindset of autistic self-improvement. Realize the world around you and put yourself back into your place of only being a human compared to the infinity of existence.

Finally, thank you for reading. I'll see you next time. Take everything I'm saying here with a grain of salt but I believe this mindset can be of massive help to you. Cheers.

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