How To Deal With Toxic Relationships

Introduction

We’ve all been dealt cards in life. Whether good or bad, every one of us have their own challenges, problems, ideas, deceptions, and more.

However, one card that is particularly painful is a toxic environment: a toxic family, friends, partner, and so in these environments, for most people, it is difficult to be happy.

Therefore, in this article, we’ll see how you can deal effectively with a toxic environment, or with toxic people that you live with.

So, what is the first step to dealing with a toxic environment, in my opinion? The first one is to erase toxic people from your life. Yes, very simple, but easier said than done. However, when you consider the mental and physical energy they sap from you, it’s much better to simply forget about them.

For example, let’s say your girlfriend is very controlling, manipulative, and unfair toward you. In this case, it’s easy to say that you have a toxic environment, however, it’s harder to do something about it, since you might still have feelings of love in regards to her

In this case, you might realize that all of this « love » you have for her and that is present in the relationship is only a mirage, because true love isn’t toxic, true love doesn’t hurt you directly, and true love isn’t manipulative.

In this case, the best solution would be to simply cut the relationship. If you do so, you would gain much energy and time, and you would be able to find a person who actually deserves your time and attention.

Now, with friends. How can you deal effectively with negative friends? The first step is to first assess if it’s a whole group or a single person. If it’s a single person, you can actually confront this person with the rest and the group and exclude it.

However, if it’s the whole group that is toxic, or it’s just a specific friend that is in no group whatsoever, in these cases, the best solution would be to simply forget about them. Toxic friends can sap a lot of energy and time from you.

Now there is two ways to approach this: either you slowly, bit by bit, start ignoring them, until one day they are ignored completely and/or they don’t even come up to you anymore, OR, you cut them once and for all, by being very clear about what annoys you in the friendship.

For example, if your « best friend » is constantly insulting your partner in your partner's back despite you asking for him or her to stop, in this case, breaking the friendship is the good way to go. However, you might not know how to deal with this. If you do not have the courage for confrontation, simply start ignoring bit by bit. If you have the courage, the best way is to speak up, get things clear and then let go of the friendship. Now in this situation of someone insulting your partner, you would be stupid to not directly confront the person as this is pure non-respect anyway.

Now, what if the toxic environment you’re in is your family? In this case, it’s much more complicated to deal with the situation because if you’re a teenager you might still be living with your family, and if you’re an adult it’s most likely that you’re connected to your family.

First off, let met get something clear, something that a lot of people don’t want to hear but which is really real. You don’t choose your family, therefore, if they start almost bullying you or if they’re toxic toward you, you have EVERY RIGHT to ask them to go fuck themselves.

In other words, in popular culture it might be looked upon to ignore one’s family or parents or whatever, but, in the reality of things, it’s not because your mother gave you life and your father paid you for stuff when you were a kid, that you owe them life.

If they hurt constantly your mental health and physical health, it’s normal to build feelings of resentment or avoidance toward them. The goal is to not let this hate channel you but rather letting it go and realizing that you simply are not lucky to have parents like this.

It might hurt to have a family that you don’t necessarily love or that hurts you constantly, but it’s just the harsh truth of life, we don’t choose what we were given. You couldn’t choose your family before landing on earth. So, if they’re toxic, cut them off, ignore them, or get the shit clear with them by leaving them with an ultimatum.

If you’re a teenager, simply stop caring. Let go, don’t care, ignore their bad words and their negative energy, and live your life freely. If now, they use physical abuse to restrain you, in this case, call the police or go and speak about it to a teacher or a trusted one, they will normally be in charge to help you with your problem.

If they mentally abuse you, ignore them, and if you really want to stop seeing them, once more a teacher, a police officer or a trusted one is a good option.

Remember, if you have a family that treats you like shit, you have NOTHING to owe them. It’s not because they feed you (which is the least of all, when you have a kid it’s expected of you to love him enough to make in sort he stays alive), that you have to bend down to everything they say or want you to do.

I know that it is hard and incredibly complex to put limits with your parents, as we all have different relationships and experiences with them and different types of abuses if we are ever abused.

If you’re a teenager, let go, stop caring, hold tight until you’re 18 years old, and then go and live your life. If you’re really hurt and depressed by it, go and speak to the police. Maybe try to find someone from the family to go and live with, maybe a grown up sister or brother or your grandparents or anyone else, as orphanages are often full of traumatic experience and violent children (a lot of rapes, hate, fights, and very disgusting violent attacks are done in orphanages between the kids, especially sexual crimes).

If your toxic environment is at work and if it’s something such as your workplace, your boss or your comrades, it’s always something you have control over. Quit your job, speak to your boss, tell your comrades to stop, whatever.

If you get bullied at school or at work for example, you can change of school or work, speak to a trusted one (a teacher if you’re at school for example), fight back at the work place, or simply stop caring and quitting your job to live a better life somewhere else.

The upsides are infinite, the downside is shame and fear. It’s better to save your mental health and be unaccepted by your workplace comrades, your friends at school or your parents, rather than living with a tense and toxic and mentally hurtful relationship with them.

Conclusion

Finally, thank you for reading. I truly hope this article was of help to you, as having a toxic environment is really one of the worst mental health destroyers in the world. Our environment is fundamentally important to the person we become and the things we achieve, so, making sure you have a good one, or at least a suitable one, is necessary to lead a better life.

Take care, and I’ll see you next time. Bye.

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