How To Stop Giving A Fuck About What People Say About You

My story

I used to be a people pleaser. It got to the point that I looked like I had a mental disorder. I would be having almost anxiety and frustration spikes because my haircut wasn't perfect because one cm was off, I mean, it got to a ridiculous point.

All of this because I was scared that people would mock me or say something that hurt me or my ego, and frankly I didn't have the best comrades, but I used to still stress out for small things that nobody really gave a big fuck about.

And not only that, I continued to be a people pleaser most times, trying to be cool, to look cool, etc. I was so scared of their opinion that I would literally waste my life trying to look "cool". Funnily enough, by trying to always please people, they felt repulsed by me, and funnily enough, I didn't look cool at all.

It got to the point where this whole thing started to burden me, and I decided to stop giving a fuck. A year later, with different people, I decided to live my life as I wanted despite other's opinions, I decided to stop acting cool and actually being and breathing cool-itude, and I was truly authentic. As time passed, and as my authenticity increased, people were validating me more. I gained social status, a lot of social status, despite being more... myself?

I just became more authentic, more spiritually masculine, and more down-to-earth and real with people, which led to them naturally trusting and liking me in return. When you become closer to your highest masculine self (because I'm a masculine man) then people tend to trust you more. But it's not always the case for everyone and it might not be the case for you, since you might still be stuck in the "I'm scared of other's opinions" cycle.

This is why this article is being written. To stop giving a fuck about other people is pure freedom, and this is found inside, not outside. You need to enter your own mind and look at the gears, trying to figure out which one is dysfunctional.

We're all going to die

We're all going to die. And the thing is, you don't know WHEN you're going to die. You could die tomorrow. You could die tonight in your sleep. You could die in thirty years or fifty years.

What I'm trying to convey here is that you can die at any moment, and being truly authentic and stopping giving a fuck about this guy's opinion about your haircut or that guy's opinion about your watch and this woman's opinion about your identity, is super important to do now because you might die tomorrow.

Not only that, we're all going to die, meaning the people who you're scared of being judged by will die too. This means they will be forgotten. In a few generations, their actions, their wants, their needs, and everything they've accomplished will probably be forgotten. Do you know your ancestors from 300 years ago? Probably not.

And what is cool with that information is that it works for you too: people will forget about you except if you do something extraordinary, and if you do something extraordinary, there is a high chance they'll think about you as someone who's big and talents and cool and strong.

In any case, the moment your voice has cringed accidentally at the meeting, the moment you fell down the stairs in front of your colleagues, the day where your haircut sucked, the day where you insulted one of your colleagues in front of everyone: all of this is eventually forgotten in a few generations because death is coming for us all.

Not only that, but people also forget about those events. People do not regularly think about you. Seriously, even the people who mock you or who disapprove of you, for the most part, don't give a singular care about you. They simply don't care, people have their own needs and wants to accomplish, they have their own projects, their own families, their own friends, their own partners, and they have a life to live.

Alex Hormozi once said: "Everyone is going to forget about you six months after you die. And in 3 generations everyone who ever knew you will be dead. Probably worth doing what you want between now and then (because everyone’s gonna forget about you eventually anyways)."

He also said: "Reminder that all those people whose opinions you care about are thinking about themselves today (and not you). You're gonna die. And if no one will care then, no one cares now. Do what you want."

So, keep these two facts in mind: 1) death is coming for us and if you're not living truly free and authentic, you're therefore wasting your life away and 2) people think about themselves more than they will ever think about you, so stop trying to please them or stop being scared of their opinions since they don't give a crap about you. They don't want you to be happy, so stop giving a crap about their opinions.

Building true confidence is the key

Finally, building true confidence is the key. You cannot be proud of yourself and stop giving a fuck about people's opinions when you're not even free from bad habits. You cannot do that when you're still a degenerate or simply when you're wasting your life away.

Building true confidence requires hard work on purposeful missions, especially if you're a man. I cannot emphasize this enough, try to find something that truly is passionating to you and give your gifts fully from this place. For example, I like writing + I like sharing wisdom and knowledge and love so people can become wealthier mentally and physically and happier = I write on a blog website named Always Improving.

If your work is aligned with your purpose, you're going to be much more creative and efficient. It's going to be fun too, which is the cool part with that: not only are you going to be producing hard work, but you're also going to do it mostly with a smile. Now everything isn't fun but it's purposeful anyway so you feel like it's useful, like you're working toward something.

Building true confidence through hard work on purposeful missions is going to make you incredibly free of others. It's going to make you proud of yourself and of your identity, and it will help you become more stoic to problems and challenges arising, and this includes but is not limited by social challenges of other people's opinions. You know what you're doing and where you're heading, so you're not scared anymore about others. You're not lost yourself so you're not scared to lose yourself in other's opinions about you.

Growing through hardship is also one key to confidence. When you launched your business despite everyone criticizing you and you slept on the floor of your office for 5 months and you finally succeeded and made enough money to take the plane every day, then you're going to unlock more and more confidence.

Remember that confidence is an inward process that can be affected by outward situations but which also requires inward work: it's not only proving to yourself you're a strong man or woman of character through your actions but also the beliefs you hold about yourself.

But overall, you need to understand that action comes before belief. So if you have no belief in yourself, then action is the key to unlocking beliefs.

"You don't become confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror, but by having undeniable proof that you are the person who you say you are. Outwork your self-doubt." said Alex Hormozi (I'm quoting him so much it's almost free publicity).

The more you build an identity physically and mentally that is aligned with who you want to become (your highest self), the more you will give less a fuck about other people's opinions about you.

This doesn't mean you shouldn't care about every opinion: that's delusional, ridiculous, and self-centered. I'm speaking about listening to what others have to say, understanding what they're trying to accomplish through what they're saying (hurting you, trying to defend you from something dangerous that might happen such as your parents telling you entrepreneurship is risky, etc) and then making your own decision on whether you should listen to them or not.

Also, be careful of the crabs. If you put crabs in a bucket, they will try to climb out, and each time one is going to almost reach the top of the bucket, almost being free of finishing in the mouth of big Joe at the all-you-can-eat-buffet, the other crabs will grab him and pull him back with them. A lot of people are like this, it's the "if I suck, YOU SUCK!" mentality.

This mentality, you will meet if you ever try to take risks or achieve bigger things in life. Want to launch your business? Some people will tell you you're not made for it, businesses are too dangerous and you will fail, or you always sucked at leadership so why would you open a business.

Want to go and travel the world? "It's too dangerous, you don't know other cultures, you're going to get stuck in a country, you're going to get lost, you might get killed or robbed, be careful about this and that".

So, be careful of the crabs. The crabs might be your loser coworkers or comrades, as much as they can be your father. It's true. Sometimes parents and family members or close friends will try to protect you from any danger but they might also have a jealous part of them that is trying to pinch you back into the bucket. They might do this unconsciously or for the most evil of us consciously. But still, be on the lookout for those people who will try to consciously or unconsciously drag you back into the bucket.

Conclusion

You need to stop giving a fuck about what other people say about you in order to live a more authentic and free life. And to do so, funnily enough, is to be free and authentic. You need to understand that we will all die and that we will forget about ourselves quite quickly on the scale of human history.

You also need to build true confidence through hard work on purposeful missions, growing through hardships, and building an identity physically and mentally that is aligned with your higher self.

Finally, thank you for reading. As always, I appreciate it and all of this couldn't be possible without readers.

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