Should You Tell Everything To Your Partner?
Discover whether you should tell everything to your partner or not.
ARTICLES
Introduction
A partner should be one of the most important part of your life. Women often put their relationship at the core of their lives whilst men put their relationships less as a priority, but still as an important part of their lives.
Sometimes in life, things happens, and sometimes, you don’t really want to tell it to your partner. Maybe you thought something mean about their parents, or their friends. Maybe you found another person cute or cuter than your actual partner. Maybe you got an unwanted physical reaction to someone else, such as a movement in your genital area to an attractive person. Maybe you had a feeling, a thought, anything that caused you to feel bad about yourself, or simply an event or thought or feeling or anything that you think could hurt more if it would be known by your partner than if they didn’t know about it.
I think you should tell everything to your partner, the maximum. Now be careful, you don’t have to tell EVERYTHING unimportant. You don’t have to tell your partner you fought this guy as a kid when you were young, and you don’t have to tell your whole day or the details of everything in your life. I’m speaking about telling your partner the things that are important, that could change the direction of the relationship.
We’re going to skip kissing other people, or having sex with other people secretly, or falling in love with someone else and NOT telling your partner, because I think it’s pretty obvious that you should obviously TELL your partner about it.
However, it could be harder to know if you should speak to your partner about old things you did that you feel bad about for example. Let’s say you used to have an alcohol addiction or pornography addiction when younger. This is an important part of your life, not in the meaning that it’s good, but in the meaning that it changed your life when you were younger and it caused you hurt. So, this is an important thing to tell your partner.
If you have intrusive or negative thoughts, it could also prove to be beneficial to discuss it with your partner, especially if they cause you hurt or pain (such as a thought about finding someone else beautiful). For people who have OCD for example, it’s important for them to sometimes discuss their thoughts, which can often times cause great feelings of depression and anxiety and stress.
So, speaking about intrusive thoughts can be useful, but do not make it a rule to always tell it to your partner, because it could hurt the relationship. For example, if your partner isn’t fully educated on ROCD (Relationship OCD), they might start to feel bad if you tell them you’re doubting your relationship with them because you found someone attractive.
What I mean here, is that telling things to your partner is important, but it should always be kept under control. If it’s something that your partner NEEDS to know absolutely (such as infidelity, old addictions, old trauma’s etc), it’s best to tell it to your partner immediately before they take it, when they’ll inevitably learn it, as a « breaker of trust », because telling nothing to your partner is a sign you don’t trust them enough.
So, it’s a very difficult subject to go around. But let’s give a few examples so you understand better. These examples will be illustrated easily and stupidly, to the point that it’s very understandable for everyone.
I kissed another girl during my friend’s birthday party where you wasn’t invited = obviously tell her because you fucked up.
I have an intrusive thought about having sex with someone else even tho I’m not interested in this person at all but it feels so real and I feel horrible and I feel terrible and I’m a bastard and this and that = tell it to your partner, they can help and will help you manage your feelings because you probably have OCD.
I feel bad because I found someone more attractive = depends. If you feel a little bad and you can move on, no problem, you will find a ton of people attractive in life, no need to tell it to your partner, it could just cause insecurity. However, if you really feel terrible and it’s causing you real sadness and depression over an extended period of time, then speak it with them, they could help you manage their feelings.
Either way, it’s how you feel. If you feel you can deal with it alone, do it. If you can deal with it alone but it’s bad for your relationship to not tell it (such as infidelity acts you did for example), in this case definitely tell it to your partner.
I ate broccoli at lunch = no need to tell it if you don’t want to obviously, nobody gives a duck (yes, you read it right, duck) truly.
So really, try to measure with your inner sense of wisdom and consideration what is « good and bad » and what you should tell to your partner. Obviously, good-will should lead you down the path without problem.
Just don’t become a cry-baby who always need reassurance. Being clingy will only make your partner unattracted to you. They might still love you, but for example, if you’re a man, your woman might not be sexually attracted to you anymore. You’re clingy.
Remember, it’s all about balance and wisdom. Be wise, and it shouldn’t be a problem.
Conclusion
I hope this article was of help to you, and I’ll see you next time, bye.
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